The original Star Trek series is one of my all time favorite T.V. shows. I still enjoy watching it. The episodes always had an underlying message and never failed to be fun to watch. With a new Star Trek movie, Star Trek Beyond coming out soon, I want to share six parenting tips for fathers I learned from the one and only, Captain Kirk.
- “All your people must learn before you can reach for the stars.”
- “Intuition, however illogical, is recognized as a command prerogative.”
- “A little suffering is good for the soul.”
- “I’ve already got a female to worry about. Her name is the Enterprise.”
- “One of the advantages of being a captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it.”
- “Excuse me … Excuse me. I’d just like to ask a question … What does God need with a starship?”
—–CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek: The Original Series, “The Gamesters
This first advice is an excellent parenting tip for fathers. Education starts at home. A Childs first teachers are mom and dad. Dads have the awesome responsibility of giving their children the right instructions for going through life. The world is full of traps and evil influences. It’s up to us give our kids their first lessons. We give them their first academic as well as moral, spiritual, and safety lessons.
The right words from you now could very well save them from a horrible disaster far in the future. When they are small, a kid’s brain is like a sponge. They remember many of the things we say. More importantly, they watch us and remember what we do. I have always liked the quote,
“Dad, a boy’s first hero, a girl’s first love.”
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Remember, they are always learning. Teach them well.
—-CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek: The Original Series, “Obsession
Intuition, what’s that? Isn’t that something moms have? Don’t they call it women’s intuition? ——Intuition is a gut feeling we get about a situation. We rely on it to make snap decisions. But what exactly is it? A 2008 study in the British Journal of Psychology defined intuition as what happens when the brain draws on past experiences and external cues to make a decision, it happens so fast that the reaction is on a subconscious level. There is more to it than that.
Have you ever heard the saying, “follow your first mind.” I have learned over to years to think things over and consider all my options, but I usually find that my first thoughts about a situation, person, animal or thing, are correct. I call that God’s voice. Listen to it. Sometimes it’s just a quick glance from a spouse or a child, and you’ll immediately get an uneasy feeling that something’s wrong, don’t ignore it.
—-CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek: The Original Series, “The Corbomite Maneuver.”
We all have struggles. Nothing worthwhile in this life comes without hard work. Do you want six-pack abs? Be ready to put some time in at the gym and eat right. Want a quality spouse? Be prepared for rejection, emotional ups and downs and a lot of talking and getting to know the person once you meet “the one.” Want to be a musician? Get ready for practice, practice, practice.
When it comes to understanding expertise and expert performance, psychologist Dr. K. Anders Ericsson is perhaps the world’s leading authority. His research is the basis for the “ten-year rule” and “10,000-hour rule” which suggest that it requires at least ten years and/or 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to achieve an expert level of performance in any given domain. And in the case of musicians, it often takes closer to 25 years to attain an elite international level.
When you want something, it is not enough to simply want it bad enough. It comes down to how much you’re willing to suffer, pardon the expression. If you want the benefits of something, then you must be prepared to pay the costs. The last time I checked, there’s no such thing as a free lunch.
—CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek: The Original Series, “The Corbomite Maneuver.”
How is this a parenting tip for fathers? Do you want to do something marvelous for your children? Take care of mom. Your kids need to know that their parents not only love them but that they love each other. It doesn’t matter whether your family is traditional or blended. Always put your wife first, this gives the family the stability that kids crave. What’s the saying? “Happy wife, happy life.” Always put the woman in your life first.
Traditional wedding vows say it best. Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and —-forsaking all others,—- be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live? The Captain’s right, I’ve already got a woman, and I’ll bet that in the big scheme of things I’ve worried her more than she has ever worried me.
—-CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek: The Original Series, “Dagger of the Mind.”
I find this to be especially true when dealing with my kids. Now the kids are older; I sometimes ask them their opinion and advice on some issues.
Once I asked Day, my 14-year old daughter if she thought it was okay for 14-year olds to have a boyfriend? The question opened the door to a beautiful, very insightful talk.
I learned how she felt about this subject and was able to tell her my feelings on the matter; without coming off as the Captain or the boss.
It’s a great a way to start a conversation with them. I want them to be able to solve problems and think things through for themselves. If they also feel like they’re helping dad in the process so much the better. Asking for their advice works great when asking them about how to use an Ipod or some other technology product.
By the way, she told me she didn’t have a boyfriend nor was ready for one—GREAT NEWS!!!—.
She also said that a lot of girls in her class have “boyfriends.” Sometimes it’s hard to just sit back and listen to the kids. I find myself always wanting to interrupt and tell them what to do. I am their dad, after all. Sometimes I want their thoughts on a matter because they are younger than me and see things differently. They are smart and have excellent ideas about a lot of things like technology, politics, and what’s going on in the world today. These talks help to build their confidence and give them chances to let me into their lives. Furthermore, these conversations give them the opportunity to tell me their wants, wishes, and opinions; although they know that the final decision on anything rests with mom and me.
—-CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
The last parenting tip is the most important. The other day I heard a story about a man who would buy several lottery tickets every week. He would take them home and say a prayer to God. Oh, Lord please help me to win the lottery, help me win it, and I’ll never ask you for anything else. Just answer this one prayer, so I can become rich and then I can solve all my problems. What he failed to realize is that if God wants to bless you, he doesn’t need the lottery.
To know what God can do, you first have to know him. When you know him, you can recognize imposters. It’s critical that we teach this to our kids. Money, cars, and other material things can become gods to us if we are not careful. To know who God is, you must first have a relationship with him.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NIV
Be careful there are many pretenders out there. Have a lovely week, God be with you until we meet again.
photo credit: New CGI version of Star Trek’s USS Enterprise via photopin (license)
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