May 10

When God Made Moms



Listening to birds delightfully singing in the background one beautiful, sunny morning last week. I realized Spring has officially arrived. Likewise, one of my favorite holidays is here again…  Mother’s day.

Mother’s Day should be a Federal holiday. From my earliest memories, I can remember my momma going off to work. She worked as a stenographer for the U.S. Air Force and later had the same job in another part of the Federal Government. She worked so hard to raise my brother and me. Wouldn’t it be great if the government recognized hard working moms by giving them all a paid day off.

Moms in the neighborhood where I was raised all worked full-time jobs, in addition to raising families. Dads had jobs also. It took two incomes for our parents to raise us, even way back then. There were no stay at home moms on my block.

By the time I was 13, my mom was a divorced single mother with two young boys. She received very little if any help from my father after they divorced. But that’s an entirely different blog post, and right now I’m talking about my Mom. –It’s Mother’s Day.

My mom put everything she had into rearing us up. She single handedly bought herself another car and eventually paid off the house, by herself. She was so good at managing the money she made, that my brother and I never even knew we were poor. We weren’t in poverty but things were very tight and my brother and I had no idea.

Mother’s Day comes at the perfect time of year, springtime. The brown, dead grass of winter is now alive and bright green. Flowers are back, colored in the gorgeous Technicolor only a God who loves beauty, would have painted them. I love this time of year.

This is a wonderful, special day, set aside for us to show our mothers how grateful we are for the sacrifices they made in order to raise us. To thank them for how they always did everything they could to make us happy. There is nothing on earth like a mother’s love, and I should know because I have the worlds best mother! I love you, Momma!!!

Mom and I, Spring 1977

This Mother’s Day I want to dedicate the following remarkable poem to my Mom, my wife and all the other great Moms out there in cyberspace. I once read that “being a Mom is an attitude, not a biological function.” You don’t have to give birth to someone to be a Mother. So, Happy Mother’s Day to my Mom, my wife and all of the wonderful women out there who are someone’s Mom!!! God be with you until we meet again.

When God Made Moms

By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day and working overtime. An Angel appeared and said “Why are you spending so much time on this one”? And the Lord answered and said, “Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.”

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. “Six pairs of hands! No Way!” said the Angel.

The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!”

“And that’s just on the standard model?” The Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, “Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I can’t!” the Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower.”

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“Yes, she is soft”, the Lord agreed, “But I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?”, asked the inquisitive Angel.

The Lord smiled and replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.”

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak.” The Lord objected. “That is a tear!”

“What’s the tear for? the Angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.”

The Angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Truly, You do all things well… Moms are truly amazing!”

Happy Mother’s Day!

..Erma Bombeck


mom, Mother's Day, Mothers

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